FHE: Family Rules

This is mostly a discussion lesson. It is one that you will need to personalize for your family. These questions are suggested for discussion purposes. Change or modify them as you see fit.
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Ask: What are rules?

Ask: What does the word "consequence" mean? (a consequence is the result of an action or decision you make)

Ask: What are family rules?

When parents remain firm in their standards and guidelines, children also learn to stand firm. If parents give in to the repeated requests of their children, their children are more likely to give in to the repeated requests of their peers. Teenagers are quick to notice any form of hypocrisy. If they see that their parents are not truly committed to the gospel and to living its standards, they feel no need to be committed themselves. But when parents are unwavering in the rules they set and the lives they live, their children are more likely to stand firm, too. (Friendly Rules, January 1985 Ensign)

Read Andy's Choice from the May 2008 Friend.

Ask: What are our family rules?

Ask: Should we write down our family rules and have them posted somewhere?

Ask: Are there any issues that you think we need to talk about as a family and perhaps make rules and consequences because of those issues?

Ask: What could we do when other issues come up in our family? (Hold a family council/meeting)

"Family home evening is a social and teaching time. In a family council we talk about the needs of the family and the needs of individual members of the family. It is a time to solve problems, make family decisions, plan day-to-day and long-range family activities and goals. It is a time to share one another’s burdens and joys and counsel together, to keep each family member on the right track spiritually. It is the time when we discuss family matters, much as a bishop or branch president does with his ward or branch leaders. It is when parents use the tremendous powers of the council system. A family council could certainly be part of family home evening, but it could also take place at any time.

A council is when parents let their children help solve the problem. And when everyone agrees to a solution, everyone will have ownership of the problem. If I tell the family, 'You go out and pull the weeds,' there may be complaining or hurt feelings. But if I can help them to feel, 'We all decided this,' then the family council is truly working. Before you know it, family members will be organizing themselves, saying, 'You do this and I’ll do that.' That’s the power of a council."Family Councils, June 2003 Ensign

Other sources/stories:
Family Meeting, November 1991 Friend.
Friend to Friend, Elder Dellenbach, March 1992 Friend.
Friendly Rules, January 1985 Ensign.
Family Councils, Elder Ballard, June 2003 Ensign.