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FHE: Family Rules

This is mostly a discussion lesson. It is one that you will need to personalize for your family. These questions are suggested for discussion purposes. Change or modify them as you see fit.
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Ask: What are rules?

Ask: What does the word "consequence" mean? (a consequence is the result of an action or decision you make)

Ask: What are family rules?

When parents remain firm in their standards and guidelines, children also learn to stand firm. If parents give in to the repeated requests of their children, their children are more likely to give in to the repeated requests of their peers. Teenagers are quick to notice any form of hypocrisy. If they see that their parents are not truly committed to the gospel and to living its standards, they feel no need to be committed themselves. But when parents are unwavering in the rules they set and the lives they live, their children are more likely to stand firm, too. (Friendly Rules, January 1985 Ensign)

Read Andy's Choice from the May 2008 Friend.

Ask: What are our family rules?

Ask: Should we write down our family rules and have them posted somewhere?

Ask: Are there any issues that you think we need to talk about as a family and perhaps make rules and consequences because of those issues?

Ask: What could we do when other issues come up in our family? (Hold a family council/meeting)

"Family home evening is a social and teaching time. In a family council we talk about the needs of the family and the needs of individual members of the family. It is a time to solve problems, make family decisions, plan day-to-day and long-range family activities and goals. It is a time to share one another’s burdens and joys and counsel together, to keep each family member on the right track spiritually. It is the time when we discuss family matters, much as a bishop or branch president does with his ward or branch leaders. It is when parents use the tremendous powers of the council system. A family council could certainly be part of family home evening, but it could also take place at any time.

A council is when parents let their children help solve the problem. And when everyone agrees to a solution, everyone will have ownership of the problem. If I tell the family, 'You go out and pull the weeds,' there may be complaining or hurt feelings. But if I can help them to feel, 'We all decided this,' then the family council is truly working. Before you know it, family members will be organizing themselves, saying, 'You do this and I’ll do that.' That’s the power of a council."Family Councils, June 2003 Ensign

Other sources/stories:
Family Meeting, November 1991 Friend.
Friend to Friend, Elder Dellenbach, March 1992 Friend.
Friendly Rules, January 1985 Ensign.
Family Councils, Elder Ballard, June 2003 Ensign.

FHE: Game Night

One thing that we love to do as a family is play board games. Occasionally we will have a FHE Game Night where we simply play games. No lesson or formality, we just play games.

Obviously you play the games your family likes. I'd like to tell you about a few of our family favorites.

Disney's Scene It: We received this game as a gift one year for Christmas. It's not something I would probably have picked up on my own, but we love it. We have the original version, and now I really want to get the second edition.

It's easy to play. It involves answering Disney-related questions by watching clips of Disney movies, listening to sound bites, etc. You can do it with teams or individual players. Even really little children can play it.

Apples to Apples: This is, quite simply, probably the best game ever! I never laugh at anything as hard as I do playing Apples to Apples. It's terrific in just about any group, but the words are more appropriate for teenagers and adults. We have also played it at Mutual with our YM/YW on different occasions.



Apples to Apples Junior: This is probably my boys' favorite game. The younger kids can play it themselves or with adults. We laugh and laugh. It's as much fun for me to watch my boys play it, as it is to actually play. There is nothing like laughter to bond you more closely together. I think every family should not only have this game, but you should play it regularly.

FHE Lesson: The Importance of Sacrament Meeting

Ask: why do you think we go to Sacrament Meeting each week?

Sacrament meeting is so important that the Lord gave specific instructions to Joseph Smith about it.

Read: D&C 59:9-10

“And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High.”

Ask: what does that mean? (Sunday is a holy or special day. We worship Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.)
Ask: what is the sacrament? (Bread and water)

Ask: what does the sacrament represent? (The bread represents Jesus’ body and the water represents Jesus’ blood.)

Ask: do you ever listen to the sacrament prayers? Let’s read them, because they’re pretty important.

Sacrament prayer for bread: Moroni 4:3

"O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it; that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given them, that they may always have his Spirit to be with them."

Sacrament prayer for water: Moroni 5:2

"O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them."

Ask: What do we promise to do if we take the sacrament?
Take Jesus name (become a member of his church, teach other people about the gospel and be an example, keep his commandments)
Remember Him

Ask: what are we promised if we do these things? (To always have his spirit to be with you.)

“Sacrament meeting is the most important meeting of the week, the one the Lord has commanded us to attend. It’s a time to worship the Savior. What does that mean, to worship? It means to reverently show love and allegiance to him, to think about him, to honor him, to remember his sacrifice for each of us, and to thank him.” Elder W. Mack Lawrence, Ensign May 1991.

Elder Mack used the word “remember”, just like in the sacrament prayers. We remember Jesus as we take the sacrament. What does it mean to remember?

Ask: what do we remember on Sundays?

Jesus died for us.
The promises we made at baptism: to always remember him, to obey his commandments.
We think about the things we did that week and we can ask for forgiveness and promise to do better.

Taking the sacrament is the most important part of Sacrament Meeting. But, we also listen to talks and sing songs during Sacrament Meeting. Sometimes it can be hard to sit and listen and be reverent. What are things we can do to be reverent during Sacrament Meeting?

Answers will vary.

Play a memory game (use Sharing Time: Remember, if you don’t have a different one).

Sources:
W. Mack Lawrence, “Sunday Worship Service” Ensign, May 1991, p. 30-31.
Elizabeth Ricks, “Sharing Time: Remember” Friend, June 2007

FHE Lesson: Making our House a Home

Use this as a basic outline and adjust it as you see fit for your family.
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Open by defining these two words. You can ask what everyone thinks they mean first, if you want.

House: a shelter; a building where people live
Home: an environment offering security and happiness

Ask the question: What does security mean?
Next, ask the question: I want you to picture a house.

Ask: Is a house just a building with windows and a door?

Answer: A house is where families live and sleep and eat. A house becomes a home when family members learn together, help each other, and do fun things.

Relate the following story:
Many years ago a fire destroyed a family’s house. A neighbor tried to comfort the family’s seven-year-old boy by saying, “Johnny, it’s too bad your home burned down.” Johnny thought for a moment and said, “Oh, that was not our home; that was just our house. We still have our home; we just don’t have any place to put it right now.” Johnny knew that the fire had not destroyed his family and their kind feelings for one another.

Ask: What are we doing to make our house a home?

Play the Making Your Home a Holy Place game (You can use your magazine or print it online)

Ask: So, look at these pictures. What were the people doing that made their home a place the Holy Ghost wanted to be?

Ask: How do you think we invite the Holy Ghost into our own home?

Possible answers/additional questions to ask:
We love each other
We have family prayer: how does having family prayer make you feel?
We say our personal prayers: how do you feel when you say your personal prayers?
We read our scriptures
Family Home Evening
We do things together as a family
We are nice to each other
We go to church
Forgiveness
Sharing
We give service: what can you do to serve your brothers and sisters?
Obedience
We support each other: what can you do for someone else to show that you support them?

I took an 8.5 x 11 size piece of white paper and drew a house in the center of it. Then I wrote down our answers radiating out from the house (like a sun). We put it on our fridge to remember.

Ask: Do you think that each one of us can make a difference in our family and in our home as we live the teachings of the gospel?

Ask: What can you do this week to make our house a happy home?

We ended with playing a game called, "My Happy Home" which comes from the Family Home Evening Games Galore Vol. 1, from the Finch Family Games. My kids never tire of these games.

Sources:
Making Your Home a Holy Place from the November 2009 Friend
A Happy Home from the November 2009 Friend
Finch Family Games, Family Home Evening Games Galore, Vol. 1.

FHE Lesson: Reading the Book of Mormon as a Family

We wanted to get back into the habit of reading the Book of Mormon together as a family. I know my boys and they are more willing participants if they have a say in the decision-making process.

So, I used this talk from the April 2009, Friend: The Promise of a Prophet by Elder Octaviano Tenorio of the Seventy.

Open with asking the children "What are the scriptures?" and "What do we learn from the scriptures?".

Have someone read Doctrine & Covenants 1:37. Ask, "What are the commandments we are supposed to search?"

Read/paraphrase Elder Tenorio's talk. Focus on following the prophets' (President Benson and President Hinckley) admonitions to read the Book of Mormon as a family. As you close, focus on Elder Tenorio's invitations at the end. (My boys got a big kick out of the story of how Elder Tenorio's son learned to read the Book of Mormon upside down.) You can find President Benson's actual remarks from 1986 here or President Hinckley's admonition in 2005 here.

We then discussed what the best time of day would be for our family to read together, and we committed to getting up and doing it.

Close however you normally close FHE. We had family prayer, warm brownies and a rousing game of Scene-It.

FHE: Bingo

My boys love bingo games.

You can take your General Conference Bingo pages and use them for a fun Family Home Evening activity. Print an extra bingo sheet and cut out the squares. Put all those squares into a jar or container. Shake it up and play traditional bingo.

Pull out a square, read it and everyone marks their cards. The winner gets a prize or gets to be the caller or whatever you decide.

It's an inexpensive way to use resources you already have and, at the same time, enjoy a fun FHE activity.

Print Bingo pages here and here. Laminate them for durability and store them in your FHE Box.